Adjusting to a new normal

We're sitting in the familiar waiting room right now. There's a panoramic view of the Roanoke Valley. You can see everything from the Blue Ridge Mountains to downtown Roanoke and it's incredibly peaceful. The mountains bring comfort to me. 

The above picture is of my daddy, my grandma, and my nephew Christopher from about 2009. I love my Daddy's smile in this pic. This pic of my Dad is currently my profile picture on facebook. Right now he's in critical condition at a hospital in Roanoke, Va. He had a severe heart attack on Wednesday 6/27/12 and it's been a rocky ride since. 

My daddy has congestive heart failure and he had another heart attack when I was in high school. Heart disease runs in our family and he's the primary reason I try very hard to eat a healthy diet that works for my personal body type. I try to be a good example to him and I try hard to encourage him to take good care of himself. But sometimes, especially when the hereditary cards are against you, even with the very best efforts, medical emergencies happen. 

On Wednesday the hosital team worked head to clear the blockage from his heart and encourage it to pump and work properly. However, his heart was so weakened by that attack that they didn't realize how critical his condition was. Slowly his organs began to fail and emergency surgeries took place to attempt to stabilize his heart and his organs. Thursday was an extremely critical day and the doctors and nurses honestly didn't believe he was going to make it through the night, despite the emergency measures taken to save him. 

But miracles do happen. They may not "appear" to be as miraculous as you'd see in a movie or on tv... but thank GOD for small miracles.  My Daddy made it through Thursday night. He's had 2 (I think) surgeries now and he's currently attached to some type of mechanical heart device that works as the lower two ventricles for his heart. He's also attached to a breathing machine, so he is intubated, a dialysis machine, and of course has numberous other IV's over his arms, legs, and hands. His life right now is very much a miracle of modern emergency medical devices and a whole lotta faith. 

The small miracles of today are the fact that his skin color is so much better than it was earlier in the week. I barely recognized him when I saw him on Thursday evening, but today his face looked like the Daddy that's always been there for me. He also had just a slight amount of urine in his catheter bag today, which means his kidneys are beginning to function, even if ever so slightly. The nurses also detected the very slight sounds of movement in his bowels, so they decided to try feeding him with a nasogastric tube instead of intravenously. My aunt told me it would be very good progress if they could feed him through his stomach instead of through his veins, so this latest development is great news and I'm praying his body will accept nourishment this way. 

It's been an emotional roller coaster. The incredible downs of awaiting possible imminent death in the early, early hours of Thursday morning. The frustration of not knowing.... the quiet solitude of simply waiting with the unknown. The careful joy of realizing he made it through Thursday night, but was being wheeled into surgery on Friday morning. The guarded hope of doctors and nurses who give us scientific and factual updates, but contain any thoughts on the future of his condition.  Life has thrown me a lot of unknowns in the past month and I'm learning to accept this as the current norm. And that uncertainly is okay. 

Living in the moment, from hour to hour, from day to day is the new normal. And honestly, it's a good thing. We can so often focus on the future. On when life will be better when "this happens" or "that happens", or when we make more money, or when we have more vacation time saved up... I'm incredibly guilty of this having this frame of mind... but right now, I'm thankful for the day. I'm thankful for seeing the rosy complexion in my Dad's cheeks. I'm thankful for seeing him move his legs or arms when we speak to him for only a few moments every day. 

Of course it's easy to rest and feel a bit more comfortable when things aren't changing. It's the calm eye in the midst of the storm... and right at this moment, I'm extremely thankful for it. 

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Summer Berry Trifle W/Coconut Flour French Pound Cake (Dairy/Grain Free)

"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. "

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Snickerdoodle Cookies (Egg/Grain/Gluten/Dairy Free)

There are two kinds of SNICKERDOODLES.....there's the big puffy, "cakey" ones and then there's the RIGHT ones! Sweet, thin, crackled and chewy; these are the only kind of Snickerdoodles that you'll find here at The Urban Poser. So if you are looking for the former then...."These are not the cookies you are looking for....move along." (THANK YOU Obi-Wan and my two very obsessed Starwars

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Just Peachy: Peaches & Cream Chicken Salad W/Currants, Parsley & Mint (No Mayo, Paleo, Egg/Dairy/Grain Free)

I know, I know.....there are a MILLION chicken salad recipes out there these days. That's why I wanted to come up with something that was simple, fresh and summery but still different than your typical summer picnic side dish. So if you want a break from the same old, same old...then this is the chicken salad for you!







It's fairly common to add apricots to a chicken salad recipe, but

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Street Foods: Samosas W/Rhubarb Chutney & Fried Green Chilies (Grain/Potato/Gluten Free)l

As a child, I used to love watching my father cook. There are times when a parent teaches their child to cook using words and measurements and instructions, but most of what I learned from my father came through simply watching him make his way around the kitchen. His hands: strong and precise, swift and sure; rugged enough to hold a searing pan and nimble enough to wield the sharpest knife

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"He needs a sticker that says "Just Add Water"

My boy's gonna be okay!!! PHEW.... 

We had a great visit with our veterinarian today and she said the poor little guy was bone dry from the medication he was given at the Emergency Vets (which we continued through the week). Which is okay. It was an urgent situation and they weren't exactly sure of what was wrong with him, so the ER Vets did the best they could. I'm incredibly grateful. 

Our vet said that Mitten was extremely, extremely dehydrated, so we stopped the current medication (which was causing him to be so dehydrated -- the Vet said he needed a sticker that says, "Just Add Water" lol). He was given IV fluids and we were encouraged to keep giving him electrolyte replacements for a few days (Pedialyte) until he was more encouraged to eat.

The vet currently thinks that the main issue may be feline diabetes, which should be generally easy to manage with the right diet regimen and possibly medication. We'll visit the vet again early next week and see how his progress is and what we need to do from there.

Just want to shout out a HUGE thank you to all of the wonderfully kind and thoughtful comments and emails I've received over the past few days in regards to my Mitten. In our house our pets are our family and I feel extremely blessed to have so many readers and friends who have a similar love for their furry friends. I am SO appreciative of your heartfelt thoughts and prayers! They worked! Thank you!!

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Corn Muffins in a Jiffy

I can whip these up anytime with ingredients I have

 on hand and save a trip to the store.

This recipe makes 6 corn muffins just like a box of

 Jiffy. 

 Whisk together; flour, cornmeal, sugar, BP,

and salt in a large bowl.

 In another medium bowl whisk the egg, milk 

and oil. Add to the dry ingredients and

 stir just until combined.

 Fill 6 sprayed muffin cups.

 Bake @400 for 12-15 minutes, until golden.

 Serve while still warm

 with butter or, my favorite way

with butter and raspberry jam. 

Nice with breakfast.

Corn Muffins in a Jiffy

1/2 C flour

1/2 C yellow corn meal

3 T sugar

1 T baking powder

1/4 t salt

Whisk together in a large bowl

1 egg

1/3 C milk

2 T vegetable oil

Whisk together then add to the dry 

ingredients and stir just until combined. 

Fill 6 sprayed muffin cups and bake 

@400 for 12-15 minutes, until golden.

Enjoy!

Links: My Romantic Home,
Design By Gollum,
Between Naps On The Porch

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Learning how to live with the unknown...

This is Mitten. I adopted him when I moved into my first apartment, over 10 years ago. He was about 3 weeks old. He's an albino white cat who is deaf. The first night I had him, I placed him in the bathroom to spend the night. He cried and cried and cried and being afraid of waking up my roommate I brought him to my room. I placed him on the pillow next to me and he sighed and went to sleep. And that's where he's slept the past ten years.

He's had to adjust to sleeping more in the middle between my husband and me... but he's never really been willing to give up his spot. Until now.

Last Sunday I went into the kitchen to prepare lunch and I saw Mitten sitting strangely against the kitchen doorway. His paws were propping his chest and head and he was rasping for breath. His nose and his ears were blue. I yelled for Michael, who came running into the kitchen. Michael has severe asthma, he has since he was a child and as soon as he saw Mitten's nose was blue, he said, "Get him in the car, we're going to the Emergency Vet. He can't breathe."

This would be my 2nd trip to the Emergency Vet this year. You may remember the story of Buddy from a few months ago. I still think of sweet Buddy on a daily basis. Because the outcome of Buddy's trip to the Vet didn't end on a positive note, I was very apprehensive about taking Mitten. But the poor guy couldn't breathe. 

We took him there, he was still having severe trouble breathing, you could hear crackles and rattles coming from his chest. After tests the vet told us that Mitten had heart damage and fluid in his lungs. He had congestive heart failure. They believed they could start him on diuretic medications and he would be able to breathe better, but he would have to be on medications for the rest of his life and they had no idea how long or short it would be. 

The rug had just been pulled out from under my feet. My Mitten? My sweet loving, cat who was the most affectionate animal I've ever had my entire life, the one who slept with me every night, the one who "hugged" with his little paws, and purred every time I came near. I honestly couldn't believe this was happening. 

They had to keep him overnight to get his breathing under control and to get all the fluid out of his lungs. I picked him up early the next morning and I knew the instant I saw him things were not the same. He just seemed like a very different cat.

We took him to my in-laws to watch for the day, just to keep an eye on him and make sure he could breathe okay. That evening I picked him up and took him home. This once loving, super affectionate, super social cat (at least around us -- not around visitors) is now extremely lethargic, seems very sad, has no interested in attention, affection, food or water.

He's spent most of the past 4 days sleeping in the bathtub. He will sometimes walk down the hallway and then soon return back to the bathroom. He doesn't purr very much. And the poor little guy just isn't very interested in food of any kind or water.

Thankfully Michael is taking him back to the vet tomorrow morning for his followup appointment to see what we should expect from this point forward.

It's been an extremely emotional and hard time for me. This little guy has been a true friend to me and a steady companion as I began my first job, got my first apartment, got married, moved 3 times. He's been there through thick and thin. And he's always been my affectionate, loving, friend. When I needed a hug, when I just needed some encouragement, when I've had down days, he's the furry friend I turned too. It's been so hard to see a very different side of my Mitten.

A cat who no longer wants affection. Who wants to be left alone. Who doesn't feel like purring, or eating, or hugging my arm. I don't know what the future holds for him. I don't know if he has weeks, months, or years left. Learning to live with that uncertainly has been a huge challenge.

My wise friend Pamela gently reminded me last night that I have to accept Mitten where he's at and to allow him to heal, rest, and change at his own pace. I also need to think positive and pray for the very best.

So that's where my heart has been over the past week. My goal for the next few weeks is to live in the right now, accepting today, and not worrying about what will come.

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Cashew Ricotta Stuffed, Almond Crusted Fried Squash Blossoms (Vegan, Grain & Dairy Free)

Oh, the wondrous blossoms of summer....I so love their scent, their color, their texture and YES, even their taste! Especially the squash blossom. If you have never tried one, now is the time, while they are in full bloom. They can be eaten raw, baked, sauteed or fried.






Don't worry, you can have your blossoms and eat your zucchini too! One additional thing to keep in mind

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Grilled Apricot & Basil Tart W/Cashew Sour Cream & Basil Infused Honey Syrup (Grain/Dairy/Egg Free)

One of my very favorite things about summer is...the rows and rows of apricot, nectarine and peach filled baskets at our local farmer's market! I absolutely LOVE these three fruits because of their gorgeous color, soft flesh and sweet yet tart flavor. And while this particular tart could easily be made with any of these fruits, I just couldn't resist these sweet little apricots!

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Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Muffins

The thing I love about muffins is that you can mix 

them up and bake them in under 30 minutes.

Try these anytime you want something yummy 

and home baked to enjoy with your coffee.

You probably have  all the ingredients in the house.
Combine the dry ingredients in a large bowl.
Melt the butter in a medium bowl in the microwave.

 Add the sour cream, egg and vanilla to the butter.

 Whisk until well blended.

Add to the dry ingredients and gently stir until just
combined. Fold in the chocolate chips.

Divide the mixture among paper lined muffin pan.

 Bake until golden, about 16 minutes.

Remove from pan. I like them still warm.

Loaded with mini chocolate chips.

Homemade muffins....one dozen to share.

Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Muffins

 1-1/2 C flour

2/3 C sugar

3/4 t baking powder

3/4 t baking soda

1/4 t salt

Mix dry ingredients together in a large bowl.

5 T butter, melted

1 C sour cream

1 egg

1 t vanilla

Melt the butter in a medium bowl. 

Add sour cream, egg and vanilla.

Whisk until well blended. Add to the

dry ingredients and stir with a rubber 

spatula until just combined. Do not beat.

Gently stir in

1 C mini chocolate chips

Evenly divide batter among a 

paper-lined 12 cup muffin pan.

Bake @350 for 16-18 minutes.

12 muffins

Enjoy!

Links: Designs By Gollum,
At The Picket Fence, Common Ground
French Country Cottage, The Charm of Home,
My Romantic Home, Stone Gable

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Touching Base

First up, I want to say thank you to everyone who has left comments and emails over the past - what, year? I have checked in intermittently, usually when I've come back here to check one of my recipes, and it has been nice to see that my efforts to document my Primal journey are still finding an appreciative audience.

Second, I really want to get back into regular cooking, but we bought a house six months ago and the kitchen is HORRIBLE. The oven is even worse than at the old (rental) house and the stove often loses its flame (but not its gas flow, yikes...) so I have really been avoiding my usual fry/saute cooking methods. BBQ is fun in the warmer weather, but it's icy in Melbourne now. I've been living on frozen food a bit that only needs boiling or baking, and there has been quite a bit of ready-to-eat food too.

So, I'm a long way from the Paleo WOE, but you know what's funny?

I've been losing weight.

I've held on to the massive regain-and-then-some that came from the DepTran horribleness for two solid years, seeing little improvement in my raging appetite and emotional dependency on food. Mostly, I never felt full - my connection to satiety was still broken. I would try fasting and eating to hunger, but nothing was working.

Then, about three weeks ago, I closed my latest play. During this stressful week, I noticed that suddenly I wasn't as hungry; I would eat a little of something - anything, even chocolate - and I would 'know' when I'd had enough! This basic, biological connection had been absent for over three years. And, for reasons I won't elaborate on here, I have a strong feeling that this change is due to emotional reasons, not immediately physiological ones.

So, three weeks of eating 'normally' and I have dropped five kilograms. I'm half-way back to my old 'set point' weight before I originally went low-carb. I would rather eat nothing but primal foods, since I enjoy the other nutrition benefits, but hey! I probably won't keep losing weight once I'm back to the weight I maintained on my pre-2009 junk food diet, but it will be great to get rid of this 'excessive' excess.

Who knows how long this 'normal' appetite control will last, but I will certainly be pleased if its reign is long and joyful! I eat when I'm hungry, and now I can stop easily. Hurrah!

And, when we have enough cash to renovate our kitchen, I'll be able to share my latest yummy recipes with you all - without fear of my oven exploding mid-meal!

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Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

We have a winner in the 

Tumbleweed Pottery giveaway!

Shelby Keith....come on down!

Here's the recipe that started it all....

Beer But Chicken

It originally used a can of beer, 

but this is so much easier because you make it

in the oven.

Use your favorite seasoning mix or try this one.

 Beer, oil, 3t house seasoning, 3t seasoned salt,

 a sprig of rosemary. Rinse and dry the chicken.

 Pour the beer into the center well to about 3/4 full. 

Add a sprig of rosemary and whatever herbs you

 like. I also have oregano and sage growing in my 

herb garden, so I added those. Combine the house 

seasoning and seasoned salt. Add about a teaspoon

 of seasoning mixture to the well.

 Rub your chicken with oil and add about 1 t

 of seasoning mixture to the inside and

 sprinkle another1 t all over the outside. 

Slide the chicken down over the well. 

Plug the neck opening with a little foil. 

Put the chicken cooker into a COLD oven

 and then turn the oven to 350. Now...

put you feet up and drink the rest of your beer. 

Roast for 1-1/2 hours.  until nicely browned.

Let rest for 10 minutes before carving. 

Serve with the juices.

House Seasoning

1 C salt

1/4 C pepper

1/4 C garlic powder

Combine and store in a 

large shaker container.

Goes with everything.

Shelby please email me at may222@aol.com...Congratulations!

Links: Savvy Southern Style

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Gingered Green Beans W/Caramelized Shallots

As I sit in my kitchen, snapping the ends of a big basket of fresh green beans, I keep hearing this voice in my head saying....no wait, almost singing...."Busy girls are happy girls." I remember snapping green beans with my best friend, her mother's voice prompting us like a soothing melodic chime.....but despite her sweet 'chiming' voice, we weren't fooled for a second by the veiled

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Paleo/Vegan Butternut Squash Au Gratin W/Crispy Shallots(Dairy/Potato/Grain Free)

Butternut Squash Au Gratin W/Crispy Shallots


Ingredients:

1 pound of shallots (about 2 cups thinly sliced)1/2 cup oil of choice for frying (I like to use organic Spectrum Palm Oil)
Approx 5 lbs of whole butternut squash (about 2 lbs once sliced)*
1 1/2 cups cashews, soaked for 2-4 hours (not roasted)
1 1/4 or more cups canned coconut milk, water or chicken broth.

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Favorite Recipes from My Dad

That's my Dad and my Step-Mom. Today's a very special day. It's my Dad's birthday. I love you Dad!

You may not be aware, but my Dad is a huge inspiration behind most of my creativity in cooking. He's the foodie in our family. He's the one who first made chocolate chip cookies, omelets on Sundays, beef stews in the winter, and rare steaks with Caesar salad all summer long.

When I was little he made most of our breakfasts: usually grits, bagels, or oatmeal. On the weekends it was his famous omelets, fried liver mush (that's some good eating!), country ham cooked in cola, or fried eggs & bacon. One of my favorite cookbooks is his old copy of "The Joy of Cooking" by Irma Rombauer. That's the cookbook that taught me dozens of different ways to make cookies and cakes.

I remember old copies of Gourmet magazine always lying around the living room. I think that's where I get my love of actually reading cookbooks. While I may not try many of the recipes in a cookbook -- I think simply by reading how others make food will broaden your palate. It will give you ideas of new spices to try. Which foods work best together and will help you learn new cooking and baking techniques.

My Dad's also a writer. And while he doesn't always realize it, he's a very, very GOOD writer. He's spent nearly his entire adult career as a journalist and columnist and I know one day I'll see his name on a book. And trust me, no matter the subject... you'll want to read it. You'll be better for it. 

Today for his birthday I thought I'd share five recipes from the blog that have been most inspired by my Dad. Many are actually recipes that he used to make quite often that I converted to be gluten-free. You have to cook what you know best. Don't let being gluten-free stop that for you. Because family recipes are important. They carry on traditions, bring back beautiful memories, and make you feel like you're feeding people well. Food with a story is the very best kind of food. 

Well of course, The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies!!! 
They have to come from somewhere right? While this recipe isn't actually based on my Dad's recipe, it's special to me because my Dad made a LOT of chocolate chip cookies growing up. You knew it would be a good day if Dad decided to make cookies! And this recipes happens to be one of HIS favorites on my blog... which is a very cool thing!

Pancakes. 
My Dad made a lot of pancakes on Saturday mornings too. We loved his pancakes. Again... a recipe with a story! Read how my Dad learned to make them.

Caesar Salad. 
The ultimate "family" recipe in our clan! This one isn't just made in my immediate family it's shared by my aunt & uncle and their children... every kid in our family loves homemade Caesar salad from a very early age. It's good stuff and there's a good reason why!

Grits Bowls. 
Because I can't tell you how many school day's began with grits at our house. My dad loved to make us grits!

GLUTEN-FREE PIZZA!! 
Okay, so my Dad didn't make gluten-free pizza when I was growing up... but HE LOVED making us pizza with Chef Boy-R-Dee's Cheese Pizza Kits. By the time he was finished with them, they were full-blown supreme pizzas with green peppers, onions, pepperoni, ground beef, mushrooms, and tons of cheese. It's honestly why I love pizza so much. My Dad loved making those pizzas and the best part was we got to make them with him. He let us add the toppings, shred the cheese, watch the oven, taste the first bite. My Dad knows a thing or two about pizza and while this is a homemade recipe, it's JUST as easy as the Chef Boy-R-Dee version!! Want to buy a gluten free pizza kit that's way healthier than Chef Boy-R Dee? Check out Gallo Lea Organics GF Pizza Kits of Asheville, NC ! 

And Dad, when I see you later this month, I'm making you this... my favorite chocolate cake (or maybe a vanilla version since Chris doesn't like chocolate!) I also hope you know how great a Dad you are! Never forget that! I'm blessed outa my socks to have you for a Dad and I love for you for way more than all the amazing food you made for us growing up!

Happy Birthday Dad!! 

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